the best thing....

this is possibly the best thing I've heard concerning me.

" My girlfriend is fucking a black guy! " A woman speaking about me to her girlfriend.

which way?

not believing

i refuse to believe that we just die....

just not wake back up

as much as we suffer through just living
it would be a shame
to realize that
there is nothing

random stuff

wondering if i do this just for me to read - or to write

for others to read

stuff on my mind -

will i still go with my plans and throw in the towel
and no longer cook - sort of waiting for the 7 emu's - to talk me into jumping.....
but i jump any way but i always wake up - in the same place here.

laura dawn drunk in sedona and leaning in to say that she loves me
and somehow i fucked that up


i feel stuck - not many options
waiting for the leaves to fully develop
and then only waiting for them to fall in the fall
so i await my new beginning only to drop and decompose.

i have a catering proposal out that hasn't been confirmed
so i wait ... but i had hoped to be ahead of the game
but like my life is right now - a clusterfuck

my dad is always on my mind
so now i am wondering who will die next - and the ramifications....


other than that everything is fine.