drums please

a random e-mail

e mail

i miss you
i miss our morning chats while
i was setting up
i miss hanging out, the movies,
cooking for you
but i gotta do
what i gotta do right?

i had a dream the other night
that i went to culinary college
and you and i opened a place
together.......

i remember
you and i
pouring over our wine list
together
thats all though.

write me back and catch me up ok .
love
tiffany

old school video of the day.

circle gets the square

i play grown up board games
like really old school board games
like in the park for all day
feeding pigeons popcorn games
like the starbucks that magic johnson owns
which is next to the friday's up the street
from where i used to live in los angeles games

i play backgammon, and try to play chess
and that's it - i like dice and boards with monochrome
squares on them - i like to feel the wind
outside - or on the beach in laguna
playing backgammon with a friend who has really weird thumbs
and has survived malaria

i like to think that i was born before.... maybe in harlem
maybe spain - maybe morocco
this would only make sense because all of these " gifts "
that i have came on without any notice

and consume me until i have trouble sleeping
sometimes i am so consumed - the only answer for me is to remain still
calm - almost shut down

all consuming love....

another to ponder

its grey - or gray out
i wake up to go to the door
and i can't see five feet in front of me
i know where my hands should be when the are
in front of my face - but i can't see them

i know how to perform when i know what's in store
but since i don't understand it - i can't see it

if i put one foot down - the other follows
by instinct only - we have no plans
other than weathering the storm

i tell them - that the fog will lift eventually
and we will be where we are supposed to be

just like now and the fog

and the insignificance it brings

there are lights everywhere - guiding, distracting, and enlightening
i drive past them all right now because they all look the same to me
i dont know the difference yet -

Paul Newman Recipe's.....???

I used to work here, in Agoura Hills, California - briefly
the job actually saved my life - but that's another story.

So rumor has it - that Paul Newman developed recipes for three vinaigrettes
for the restaurant, which could possibly be true - given the clientele of the restaurant
which was just a canyon's drive away from malibu.

so with all the restaurants I've worked in i either jot down the recipes or try to keep them memorized.....

anyway here are the three vinaigrette recipes.

Red Wine Vinaigrette
1 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup basil, chopped
1/4 cup parsley, chopped
2 cups Extra Virgin Olive Oil
a pinch of sugar
1/6 cup Dijon mustard
1 cup Red Wine Vinegar
salt and pepper to taste
1 T chili flakes

mix everything together.


Balsamic Vinaigrette
4 cups Balsamic
1 cup cold water
2 cups Dijon mustard
3 shallots. roughly chopped
8 cups extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

i used a Burr mixer to make this, mixing all ingredients and slowly adding olive oil until emulsified

Citrus Vinaigrette
9 yolks
9 cups Extra virgin olive oil
3 cups lemon juice
3 cups orange juice
zest of one orange
zest of one lemon
5 T Dijon mustard
salt and pepper to taste
3 shallots, roughly chopped

again I used a Burr mixer to make this.
** very important - mix the shallots, dijon, egg yolks and olive oil first into a thick mayonaisse - if you dont the vinaigrette will break
add the remaining ingredients.

I checked the menu and I believe the restaurant still uses these recipes, i worked there in 1999.

bullshit......

so ok the whole " friends with benefits " is never just that -
there are always strings - somewhere - waiting to disrupt
a possible perfect situation

so - i pretty much ended it tonight -
or it has ended = or something

when the sun wakes me up tomorrow
or if it doesn't
i will be a little wiser

fail....

tax time....

i guess getting laid off - down sized has its pros - i didnt work for the rest of the year - so i missed a month of pay. - with my 401k and missing pay, i am actually getting money back from my tax return - not much but it helps....

so i got a job - the only real job i could have gotten in this economy

but here are the numbers - I took a pay cut a pretty substantial pay cut
( around 37.5% ) and about a 12 hour decrease in hours worked -
after a few weeks - end of feb - of getting comfortable at this job i will try to
get another job - just to pretty much break even between money coming in and bills


but i am only doing this to see the end result
my freedom - from everything - bad relationships - getting pulled in various directions
lies and falsies - robin hood vs darth vader - you know the usual dumb shit...

dont get me wrong - i got a job - which a lot of people who were laid off didn't get
i was also able to see the family during the holidays - three weeks at home

so i feel lucky, blessed - whatever

old school video of the day.