guest chef-ing.....

you would think that after 14? years of cooking - ( i count when i started culinary school as when my professional career started - 7/6/94 exactly - i had been cooking before that - stints at a summer camp.... etc - )

but this weekend is my first " guest chef " outing - I think the first of many...

It is at the Raven Cafe in Prescott, AZ - I'm excited - twice - one to ge tout of Tucson for a few days - and to actually cook my food - not the " health food " of my current job - sometimes you get tired of the same smells everyday...

Tuesday: Tuesday's dinner has been moved to Friday and Saturday. Why? Well, Tony has a guest chef coming up. Chef Dale Swann from Tucson's Canyon Ranch will be in the kitchen all weekend. What does this mean for you? Make plans for the weekend...there's gonna be a whole lotta goodness coming out of the kitchen.


so i will post pictures and such here.... eventually

tel que tu es ( come as you are )

i have been appreciated by those who have their list of priorities
in alphabetical order - as opposed to what they deem important - or what they see as valuable

which are two totally different things...
like i said before i consider myself more valuable than important
and my list of priorities have noting to do with me -
its a lot of what people want me to do
or want me to work and live
i need to have my say back.........
i need to be able to say no
and if some one's wife flirts with me again - it's on and popping

just to take the edge off

I know what you're thinking
but I"m not your property

sab·o·teur

sabotage - any underhand interference with production, work, etc., in a plant, factory, etc., as by enemy agents during wartime or by employees during a trade dispute.


does it trickle downward though - i am such a pro at this
i do it w/out thinking
i could easily be a union leader - even though my leadership skills have been questioned
or i could easily start a riot - like mike did - by " slicing mother fucking throats "

this is why i am single - plus i figured out that i prefer women who are NOT american -
they can be a bit - less than stellar - but that is purely my opinion.....

sleep

most of history's more important people - didn't sleep much
me - considering myself more valuable than important
should be sleeping more - but i am not sleeping
tonight - not well - not much this past week - mostly naps

bad coffee sucks

gagging order

gagging order - radiohead


I know what you're thinking
But I'm not your property
No matter what you say
No matter what you say

Move along, there's nothing left to see
Just a body, nothing left to see

A couple more for breakfast
A little more for tea
Just to take the edge off
Just to take the edge off

Move along, there's nothing left to see
Just a body, pouring down the street

Move along, there's nothing left to see
Just a body, nothing left to see

Move along

questions.....

"Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go."

I don't know who said this - I am being pulled in different directions again
mostly in my head - turning - i am back on plan me again
i am not the one who waits anymore -
i am usually good at being the donkey who follows the carrot
i wonder when - if at all i will be happy - 100%
i also wonder what i did in a previous life to have to struggle
so much in this one


?

Gossamer - the monster

The word "Gossamer" is derived from the Middle English gossomer, from gos meaning goose & somer meaning summer. Which translates to something light, delicate, or insubstantial. As the character is gentile and somber but also ironically destructive

in the house......

" it's like ever since you started, you've been screwed. I don't like it." anonymous
statement by an anonymous source - not so anonymously - today ......

i live in an apartment by myself - and I own like 11 chairs - so i can sit where-ever i want - whenever i want

when you work all day standing and mostly on your feet
sitting is a luxury.... sleeping in is a luxury
having a set schedule etc etc

i have a lot of female friends - not bragging - just facts
i think on tuesday - or monday i had interactions with 6 different female friends
i guess i give good advice - or seem safe
am huggable - not sure
my sister once said i was trained well - when dealing with the opposite sex
having a big sister does help
but i'd like to thnk
i had something to do with this

Blood

blood

..death is inside the bones, like a barking where there are no dogs.. Pablo Neruda

I have been bleeding from areas
where i should not be
evidence waking me up
from fits of sleeping
and not

i see blood and vomit on my hands, in the toilet
running with warm water down the sink
its calming
red blood
( mine)
escaping my body
running towards the ocean

i had thoughts of this
frequently
it wakes me up at night
i check the pillow
my sheets
this time its only a dream