back home.....

been home a few days.....
put to work sort of- -
i fixed the kitchen stool
that had been broken for a year or so
i fixed the latch on the door - two very easy items
but it seems that they were overlooked in the shuffle

back track - christmas was good - spent it with my two aunts
one real one play - and again helping with technology
it feels nice to be helpful - its nice to be actually doing something

my flight was so-so me and my luggage went our separate ways -
luggage - tucson, phoenix, charlotte and into baltimore
me - tucson, dallas/fort worth, baltimore

and my luggage made it here before i did

we are having a big family dinner on tuesday -
and i will be overwhelmed -
and then - well i don't know....

happy holidays

i hope your christmas and new years are safe
and you get what asked for -
me - i usually get what i need....
oh don't eat too much

pet peeve.....

ok - These are NOT baby carrots -
more then likely these are all of the mis-shapen
horse carrots that they cant sell and just run them
through the " baby carrot " machine
to get them all to the same size and shape.

thoughts

its been almost 6 weeks of unemployment/ rest - it has beennice to not do anything
for almost 2 and a half years - of managing a large kitchen - dealing with a lot of conflicting personalities - and being pulled in every direction possible - i remember just actively counting the amount of interruptions i had in a 30 minute period - it was about 9 - i'm sure everyone goes through this on a day to day basis - or even trying to work and constantly getting phone calls - but i really doubt that your office environment compares to a working kitchen.....
i challenge you to try it.....

so i have a week or so until i go back to dc and get pulled in every direction again -
i'll gladly accept this - because i am thinking that the trip i am supposed to take in june might happen a lot earlier than i thought -

when doors close - others open.....

i think that i am going to lose my anonymity again
and i'm prepared.

please give me happy.....

bob?

so ok i am a fan of hair - women's hair -
long, short, real - ( weaves? depends)
i love the smell of freshly washed but still wet hair
most hair products and shampoos - except anything from aveda
i guess since i was a young child the smells of my mom doing my sisters hair - or her twin's hair
or my sister doing her own hair - in the powder room

these visions and smells are ingrained in my brain - and a not so great hair style
or kind of greasy or not washed enough or washed too much is a deal breaker
like shoes - but i'll save that for another time.....

my favorite haircut of all time is the bob - in any form
but the inverted bob is the best - but not everyone can pull it off
you have to have the right size and shape of neck - i don't know really
but i've seen some bad ones....

meh.

home for the holidays

i just bought a one way ticket back to maryland

for 90% of the holidays
to see the family and give my mom a rest - she's
been running around all year
helping everyone else
it's time she got a break....

i always feel like somebody's watching me...

I do and they are - -I was brought up in a christian/catholic household
went to catholic elementary and high school, baptized - confirmed - inbetween an altar boy
but now i am sort of enthralled with eastern philosophy namely buddhism and when i say buddhism i mean zen buddhism

but part of me still holds onto being catholic - for one its a good story
where am i going with this....

i believe in guardian angels - why you ask - because i've met them three times
in my life that i remember, once after my car accident in los angeles
again in the video store in sedona - ( i think that time was to let me know she was around - we talked or rather she talked and i listened and she disappeared - literally)
i turned around and she was gone - what makes this strange was that in the time it took me to turn my head to see where she went she was gone - from a store - only one way in and out - anyone familiar with the video store in sedona in the safeway plaza knows what im talking about. it takes at least 30 seconds to go from the back of the store to the exit....

and today - i was driving on grant towards rosemont and he pulled up beside me and said - smile it's not that bad and laughed and drove off, maybe not exactly wht you'd call a gaurdian angel but he said the right thing at the right time...
there are no such things as coincidences

hitting bottom - there is only one way back up

i think i want to hit bottom - maybe
since the lay off - my decision making skills
or lack there of have been bad.....
but since i lived in the kitchen - i didn't have to make
any real world decisions - or ones that made any sense

my past few weeks have been reckless - to say the least
taking cues from bill clinton and all of my previous chefs
i am not " playing safe " and until now it didn't phase me
but today - it does
i'm in no position to support my self - let alone anyone else
or two other people - and i'm taking antibiotics - to get rid of this cough i've had since before thanksgiving

so needless to say -
i'm falling - out of control - i need to go (get) away for a while
but content to repeat these past few weeks

i have not been in a situation like this
since i quit the job in vegas and drove out to california
that lasted 7 months
7 months of semi employment - no sleep
and failed attempts of meditation

i hope i fare well -
and the new year brigs me a lot more answers
and options.

the ultimate road trip

my dad is going on a road trip - he is 72 years old and has been diagnosed - or has the symptoms of early dementia....

he is not going alone - his sister will be the co-pilot of sorts - she has a compromised immune system - and was diagnosed with walking pneumonia ....

they are going to some city in north carolina - which is about a 6 hour drive -
my dad wants to learn how to write - apparently a friend of his is an author
he has had a story going for the past 30-40 years - one chapter in but not finished
as do i but i don't intend to finish it -

maybe this is a last ditch effort to finally finish this task - who knows
but the timing - he leaves on tuesday - and hopefully back for christmas
and sort of out of the blue - maybe it came to him in a dream
like me and cooking - i didn't realize until now it was a nightmare - and i should have never gone back to sleep - but this isn't about me.

my dad and aunt are going on a road trip
i wonder what he will get out of it and if he will tell any of us

words of the day

like
lust
booty call
friends with benefits
seduction
krispy kreme donuts
old dirty bastard - ( shimmy shimmy ya )
the big "O"