how do I say this????

ok... ok = ive been reading and watching too many videos about exes breaking up and one wanting to get back together... about husband 's wives dying first and the sorrow that brings... and I've finally realized that I will probably be single from here on out... and I"m ok with that... I am anti anti social if that makes sense but I've either been too tired or too busy to even think about dating... but thinking about seeing a professional for sex - i crave ouch but not talking.. i say this and revert back to my old ways bothering women from my past because of boredom.... which i am doing now and - and i don't know what else to say