back home.....

been home a few days.....
put to work sort of- -
i fixed the kitchen stool
that had been broken for a year or so
i fixed the latch on the door - two very easy items
but it seems that they were overlooked in the shuffle

back track - christmas was good - spent it with my two aunts
one real one play - and again helping with technology
it feels nice to be helpful - its nice to be actually doing something

my flight was so-so me and my luggage went our separate ways -
luggage - tucson, phoenix, charlotte and into baltimore
me - tucson, dallas/fort worth, baltimore

and my luggage made it here before i did

we are having a big family dinner on tuesday -
and i will be overwhelmed -
and then - well i don't know....

happy holidays

i hope your christmas and new years are safe
and you get what asked for -
me - i usually get what i need....
oh don't eat too much

pet peeve.....

ok - These are NOT baby carrots -
more then likely these are all of the mis-shapen
horse carrots that they cant sell and just run them
through the " baby carrot " machine
to get them all to the same size and shape.

thoughts

its been almost 6 weeks of unemployment/ rest - it has beennice to not do anything
for almost 2 and a half years - of managing a large kitchen - dealing with a lot of conflicting personalities - and being pulled in every direction possible - i remember just actively counting the amount of interruptions i had in a 30 minute period - it was about 9 - i'm sure everyone goes through this on a day to day basis - or even trying to work and constantly getting phone calls - but i really doubt that your office environment compares to a working kitchen.....
i challenge you to try it.....

so i have a week or so until i go back to dc and get pulled in every direction again -
i'll gladly accept this - because i am thinking that the trip i am supposed to take in june might happen a lot earlier than i thought -

when doors close - others open.....

i think that i am going to lose my anonymity again
and i'm prepared.

please give me happy.....

bob?

so ok i am a fan of hair - women's hair -
long, short, real - ( weaves? depends)
i love the smell of freshly washed but still wet hair
most hair products and shampoos - except anything from aveda
i guess since i was a young child the smells of my mom doing my sisters hair - or her twin's hair
or my sister doing her own hair - in the powder room

these visions and smells are ingrained in my brain - and a not so great hair style
or kind of greasy or not washed enough or washed too much is a deal breaker
like shoes - but i'll save that for another time.....

my favorite haircut of all time is the bob - in any form
but the inverted bob is the best - but not everyone can pull it off
you have to have the right size and shape of neck - i don't know really
but i've seen some bad ones....

meh.

home for the holidays

i just bought a one way ticket back to maryland

for 90% of the holidays
to see the family and give my mom a rest - she's
been running around all year
helping everyone else
it's time she got a break....

i always feel like somebody's watching me...

I do and they are - -I was brought up in a christian/catholic household
went to catholic elementary and high school, baptized - confirmed - inbetween an altar boy
but now i am sort of enthralled with eastern philosophy namely buddhism and when i say buddhism i mean zen buddhism

but part of me still holds onto being catholic - for one its a good story
where am i going with this....

i believe in guardian angels - why you ask - because i've met them three times
in my life that i remember, once after my car accident in los angeles
again in the video store in sedona - ( i think that time was to let me know she was around - we talked or rather she talked and i listened and she disappeared - literally)
i turned around and she was gone - what makes this strange was that in the time it took me to turn my head to see where she went she was gone - from a store - only one way in and out - anyone familiar with the video store in sedona in the safeway plaza knows what im talking about. it takes at least 30 seconds to go from the back of the store to the exit....

and today - i was driving on grant towards rosemont and he pulled up beside me and said - smile it's not that bad and laughed and drove off, maybe not exactly wht you'd call a gaurdian angel but he said the right thing at the right time...
there are no such things as coincidences

hitting bottom - there is only one way back up

i think i want to hit bottom - maybe
since the lay off - my decision making skills
or lack there of have been bad.....
but since i lived in the kitchen - i didn't have to make
any real world decisions - or ones that made any sense

my past few weeks have been reckless - to say the least
taking cues from bill clinton and all of my previous chefs
i am not " playing safe " and until now it didn't phase me
but today - it does
i'm in no position to support my self - let alone anyone else
or two other people - and i'm taking antibiotics - to get rid of this cough i've had since before thanksgiving

so needless to say -
i'm falling - out of control - i need to go (get) away for a while
but content to repeat these past few weeks

i have not been in a situation like this
since i quit the job in vegas and drove out to california
that lasted 7 months
7 months of semi employment - no sleep
and failed attempts of meditation

i hope i fare well -
and the new year brigs me a lot more answers
and options.

the ultimate road trip

my dad is going on a road trip - he is 72 years old and has been diagnosed - or has the symptoms of early dementia....

he is not going alone - his sister will be the co-pilot of sorts - she has a compromised immune system - and was diagnosed with walking pneumonia ....

they are going to some city in north carolina - which is about a 6 hour drive -
my dad wants to learn how to write - apparently a friend of his is an author
he has had a story going for the past 30-40 years - one chapter in but not finished
as do i but i don't intend to finish it -

maybe this is a last ditch effort to finally finish this task - who knows
but the timing - he leaves on tuesday - and hopefully back for christmas
and sort of out of the blue - maybe it came to him in a dream
like me and cooking - i didn't realize until now it was a nightmare - and i should have never gone back to sleep - but this isn't about me.

my dad and aunt are going on a road trip
i wonder what he will get out of it and if he will tell any of us

words of the day

like
lust
booty call
friends with benefits
seduction
krispy kreme donuts
old dirty bastard - ( shimmy shimmy ya )
the big "O"

full moon

today/tonight is the brightest full moon this year
which explains me not sleeping......
( i tried to take a picture - but it sucked - the moon is at its brightest but not it's closest )

pushing forward.....

trees - aspen stands
push runners towards the horizon

summer - 12 hour days
autumn leaves fall
harvest moon pushing towards the horizon
it will be day soon

are you ready to wake up yet?
do you even know what day it is ....

it's morning again - sleep
casts a spell and takes you
for days at a time -

pushing dreams into the day
familiar faces become de ja vous
we become acquaintances again

which works for both of us
instead of each pushing the other away
we waste less time and walk towards our
respective horizons

tidy cats

titles

everyone is obsessed with titles
i guess that a lot of people thought of me as executive sous chef
at the ranch - or senior sous chef
or something.....

closure ( 200 ) days

i almost had closure......
i usually flee before the story ends - or
make up my own ending
yet i stll run

here's to my not fleeing tomorrow
i have about 200 days left here
and here means tucson proper

i am hoping to out last my and my family's
wishes about my 'round the world trip
i know i may not come back
and i have to be ready for it

so the next 200 days will be about closure
and not burning bridges.....

transcending...... and the art of war

A leader leads by example not by force.
Sun Tzu

Primer Impacto

these are two of the reasons I watch Primer Impacto
on Univision

Jackie Guerrido and Barbara Bermudo

time

ok the end of this week - it will b 5 weeks of unemployment
so i have devoted this time to write more on my blog
and also put out close to 20 resumes and filled out applications
only two of those were call backs and one seems promising -
but the time off has been good -
down time - which i have not had in like 8 years or so
i think ive caught up on sleep
tomorrow i may even do something constructive

but probably not
i have been having strange dreams lately - the usual one
with my teeth falling out
but a new one my childhood cat being caught between being a cat and turning
into a vampire - and constantly attacking me
it was quite brutal actually
and one was just me doing a task but constantly getting it wrong
and having to re do it

i think im still kind of stressed - about not working
not sure - but im a bit more sensitive about my surroundings
now that i have time to listen, watch and observe

page counter

with my attempts to delete the ads on my page
i accidentlly deleted my page counter
so i re-did it with a number i thought i was close to
not sure if it is correct - but I guess this only really matters
to me.....

ads

i have ads on my blog - not usually my style -
i was curious if anyone actually would click
they don't and I'm taking it off

oh - I read/heard that the current unemployment rate is 6.7%
and its supposed to hit 10% before we even see an upturn in the economy
good luck to us all

curiously anonymous

i constantly hit the next blog button on the top of my page......
it randomly searches and takes me to other blogs on blogspot.com
i am checking out the " competition " - as they say
but i have not found any other blogs as interesting and as random as mine
when i do i will let you know.....

fab tastic

for all intents and purposes

sex is complicated....
seriously - especially when its based around lies
( i know everyone can relate )

but given the circumstances.- all i was looking for was a one night stand -
well actually i wasn't looking for anything - it just happened
it was a void filler - i just lost my job and i was reaching for anything

but we both lied to each other and i feel sort of - not bad because it was mutual lies - but sort of indifferent - im usually not like that -

some of the lies - in no particular order - and not specified authors

marriage
age
children and age of children
being out of town but actually not
saying we enjoyed the sex
degree of like-ness ( one of us liked the other one a lot more )
saying that we usually don't do this unless in a relationship

just a few... like i said - pretty much par for the course
but i felt like writing about it -

i regret nothing it was a few days that will go down in my ever
evolving very interesting life

did i learn anything yeah -
will i change my habits - not sure

sooner or later

sooner rather than later I will actually start posting photos that i take
but my dinosaur-ish camera weighs me down - it still takes good photos

but you'd think since i am STILL not working - i would have time to take
photos - but i don't

true story

my first real job in los angeles was working at the Beverly Hills Hotel - actually only real job - but that's another story - the only way into this famed hotel was to take the graveyard shift - working 9pm - to 5am or so - so from 11pm until 5am I was the only one in the kitchen cooking for the bar and overnight room service - so you can imagine the stories i have - esp since the BHH was whitney&bobby's favorite place to stay and beat the shit out of each other...........

anyway i had a system with the room service waiters - i would cook the food and they would come back to tell me who i fed - it was mainly to pass the time - but trust me after 2am the hotel got crazy.

so i had an order for an egg and bacon sandwich - for sean p diddy combs which he usually ordered every night when he stayed at the hotel which was quite often - so the order went out and i asked the room service waiter " chickalene " did puffy enjoy his sandwich and he told me it wasn't for puffy it was for jennifer lopez ( who actually knocked on my apt door by accident a year later - yes another story)

and i said why is jennifer lopez staying in puffy's room......

about three weeks later i saw them on some third party us weekly type show
telling the world that they were an item.... so after that i used all my inside info
to my advantage

.....zig zag

.......

i will find you eventually.......

tomorrow

so i have an interview/ test - tomorrow at this place here......
i am going in pretty much blind - because for one

and two

i left them blank.

i need a job - for only 6 months - and half of me wants to go east for the holidays
i always get the job i'm supposed to get - and i think that this one is one of them
i can feel it
in me bones -
im not really stressing out too much about it - it is totally out of my hands

such is life

what time is it?

my days and nights keep running into each other

i stay put because i dont want to spend money - because none is coming in
i do the same shit everyday - not sure about hanging out with those who i used to work with

next time i get a job i will have friends outside of work -
so those days will not run into each other
and my de ja vous start having de ja vous

and i start walking in circles again

A.W.O.L. vs M.I.A.

for the past few years i have been either awol or mia i have seen pictures as recent as two weeks ago and i don't know who the people are in the photos - i know they are related to me somehow
but other than that i am clueless - and i'm sure its vice versa--- they've all heard of me and what i've done but a ghost i am to them

always working - always un available - if/when i go home i have so many people to see
because come june i will be mia again

unsure of when or if i am coming back - James told me - " if you're leaving in 6 months -have fun."
sorry the last few posts have been pretty much surrounding the same subjects
but i am trying to get my mind ( which most days is mia ) around my thoughts
sometimes it's a task
other times it's easy as pie

worldwide ....

i recently put a visitor's map on this blog -
I am curious as to where my reader's hail from


it's interesting - or more so - is that it doesn't
tell me where the reader is from but where the reader's
ip address is from

i checked my ip address its out of seattle, but i reside in t-town


click the map, take a trip
im going global slowly but surely.

random

( im hungry )

do you know that sometimes you buy things that may predict the future...
i am pondering this trip back east and i recently purchased a messenger bag and a sleeve for the new laptop - as if i am going somewhere....

i did this once before i bought hiking shoes once in maryland - where there is no need for hiking boots/shoes - it was that day i realized i was moving to sedona...
it was on the back burner but sometimes you need a visible or more concrete clue to push you in the right direction.....

all consuming love....

ok ok - technically its monday - 45 minutes into monday -
so i post one before bed - i had an interesting few days - i did absolutely
nothing for thanksgiving - the first time i did nothing in like 15 years - not working on the holiday - if i wasn't working id be cooking somewhere or going over to someone's house etc etc -
so it was really nice - considering doing the same for christmas - but i feel my luck will run out
dead
i had a dead line for this " decision " on how the rest of my life will be spent
but that's ridiculous - i can't even plan out my tomorrow -

i still have a deadline to decide whether or not to go back east for the holidays
half of me wants to but the other half doesn't -

it goes back to the youngest child syndrome - not sure if it is really a syndrome
but no matter how old you are whenever the " family " gets back together
everyone assumes the usual family role - so i will always be the youngest and treated that way - so going back to that environment - is not what i had in mind to ring in the new year with..... but
well
i don't know.....

Happy Thanksgiving.

I hope your holiday is good - I won't be posting again until monday
so enjoy the weekend.

shit you find on youtube at 2am

i don't know what to say....

no sleep for the wicked

it seems that i am not sleeping again - figure its a good time to write
or think - i don't know what im doing - other than i have a time line until the 13/14th of december - and after that im headed east or so ( which is ok - but not REALLY ) my decision - but something

everyone i talk to has or wants to have some sort of input on my future - not to say that is bad - but it would help if i knew what i wanted - still 50-65% of me wants to drop the knives all together - and stop cooking for a while - but the other 45% needs me to stay put until the end of june -

oh i kind of want to be around water really soon - was thinking about driving to los angeles for turkey day - but i'd have to cook

and i ......

James

the grower of sorts
grapefruit
mid town tucson
fresh off of the tree
and some stamps
and my hand

if this is not eating " local " i don't know what is

classic

time's a changing

i have a two week or so time frame - to see whether or not anything is happening
here in tucson - then its possibly back home for the holidays
interesting is that this is the first time we - the family will be in the same place
for christmas since hmm i can't even remember at least before culinary school
so 1992-3 - not sure

Double Check Ranch

this is the menu at the slow food dinner at Double Check Ranch

Appetizers

Beef Carpaccio
sea of cortez salt, water cress, dragoon oils

Prickly Pear Iced Tea
maya tea company

Roasted Bone Marrow w/ country bread and water crackers
double check ranch

Grilled Hanging Tender
double check ranch

Main Course

Butternut Squash & Pink Lady Soup
la oesta gardens & english orchards

Oxtail Stew
double check beef, burnt orange gourmet foods

Beef Polpette and Homemade Pasta
double check beef, tohono o'odham duram wheat and mesquite flour

danish rolls
mona's bakery

Farmer's Market Fresh Vegetables

El Norte, " Red ", R/R Wines
dos cabezas wineworks - sonoita

Prickly Pear Lemonade
cold creek ranch

Dessert
Danish Kringles
mona's bakery

Fresh Roasted Coffee
adventure coffee roasters

the password is crazy...

......

predicting the future

I wrote this about a month before i was laid off - fired


tonite i am wondering with all the ppl in the f&b department at work being let go
will i be next - i think i survived the first round of cuts but come new year - i may be s.o.l. - but ill get to sleep....

one of my many catch phrases

past

a lot of people are re-introducing themselves to me - from my not too distant past -
with " advice " i still don't know what im doing -
ill need to decide to make a decision by sunday -
something's gotta give -

does anyone have $1100 i can borrow?

i know of about 4 people who read this blog on a consistent basis.
but that doesn't equal the 25-60 views this page gets daily

my fellow readers that i know of
Tony B.
James H.
Nicci. B
Brian Mc.

show yourselves -

bad day

ok today was a bad one - i woke up and just shouted out randomly
to anyone who could hear - " are you fucking serious? "
a question that sums up everyday since 11/07/08
everything that has happened - good, bad or other -

ive not gotten many bites from my efforts -
oh one " apparently jim the baker from told someone that I was great "
i guess that's good - people are looking out for me
while i deal with this - i decided yesterday to not go to the rita ranch party - because i was not ready to see everyone from the old job at once - i almost feel like i failed - because everyone was so upset and emotional with the decision of someone who doesn't even know who i am or what my value was in the kitchen - decides to just let me go

i feel like i failed because it was out of my control - its like i got fired - but
i don't know.... i know the weekend seems like it will be busy
and monday its off to the grind again -

i hope this is all worth it - i may never know why this happened
or i could find out tomorrow - or i already know

or this will all just cycle out and spin in on itself like a black hole
and consume me from the inside out

im ready for any of it - really because i have no choice

seriously?

I hop no-one finds out about what I write in my blog....



AP
Rapper gets 20 years after writing shooting song


DUBLIN, Ga. – He shot a man twice and felt so good about it, police said, a rapper wrote a song describing the shooting and calling out the victim by name. A judge sentenced 25-year-old Rico Todriquez Wright Monday to spend the next 20 years in prison after his victim mentioned the hip hop confession to police.

Chad Blue, 28, told police he had known Wright before the September 2006 shooting, but that the men weren't friendly. He testified companions egged Wright on as he chased and shot his victim in the thigh and groin.

Later, Blue told police he recognized Wright's voice on a CD, rapping "Chad Blue knows how I shoot."

Wright was sentenced to 20 years for two counts of aggravated assault. He will spend another 20 years on probation.

think different

Here’s to the crazy ones.

The misfits.

The rebels.

The troublemakers.

The round pegs in the square holes.

The ones who see things differently.


They’re not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo.


You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,

disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.

Because they change things.



They invent. They imagine. They heal.

They explore. They create. They inspire.

They push the human race forward.


Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.



While some see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.

christmas list

clarity
security
a puppy
redemption

coffee
tea
you
mr. wilson

me being me again
a lot of rest
to figure out my career path
a puppy - a pony - a monkey with a hat


seriously
to see my family
to not be unemployed
or gainfully looking
money to travel

i did get my wish though
i got to relive that saturday night back in 1991
before thanksgiving again

and this time it was actually nice but not as safe

i am over thinking this - i usually do

our gang

why does buckwheat NOT have a shirt on???

....

since we are on the subject of fish....

my all time favorite fish is called Kona Kampachi, from
Kona Blue out of Hawaii - I've had the chance to work with it
24 hours out of the water, best served still rare to medium rare.

salmon

i like to cook salmon with the skin on.....
( any salmon from Kanaloa will suffice - or Opakapaka from Honolulu Fish Company )
hot pan - olive oil - spanish and organic
salt
pepper

the usual

but here is where it gets interesting
85% of the cooking is done skin side down -
to ensure crispy skin
and when it is almost done
flip the salmon just to sear the top

the salmon will be plated crispy skin side up
and the texture of the salmon will go from
well done to almost raw in the same bite

today

today is the first annual brush your dog's teeth with your own tooth brush day.

which one is you

everyone can relate to this picture - right now i'm the lion in this picture.

well wishes

notes to me on hearing about my lay off
about 1/3 of them ( not including phone calls, texts and e-mails)
( sometimes i go by miguel )


hey man,

I know im really late, but i just heard you were laid off at the ranch. that is such bull shit. im really sorry to hear that. I hope you are taking it well and find another job soon. damn man... fuck that place, they dont know what they are losing. seriously. ugh... that is so aggervating. well take care man. chat with you soon.

Alex aka kingman's king.
(not really) haha

Hey hey!

I heard. Kinda sucks, but I always thought you could do better. Your culinary talents are to good for a place like the ranch. Anything on the horizon?

Mike

What the fuck? You were the best chef they had dude
Did they fire a bunch of others? sebrina

helow dale im sory about lay off... whats the reason... ian

Hey I heard the bad news. Want to catch a drink tonight (or this weekend)?
James

Hi Bro, I'm really sorry about ur lay off and also I dont undertand why, but wellcome to the Club we are goint to bee soon in home. Like me mather say allways the things happen because something better is goint to appear in the future.
well men if u wanna travel to Peru the doors of my house are open for u my Telefone number is 5114672066 sometime... cesar

Sory to hear about that. It's their loss brother! Keep your head up. This will just open up something better for you. Ill keep you in my prayers. johnny evans

Noo Man, I heard about it and it sucks. I´m really sorry man...Remember whenever you want to go Lima... just let me know Miguel...Take man guillermo

You are the best dale... I hope we'll see you again... rodolfo

Sorry for what happen man, best of luck! frenendo

Sorry to hear about that... Pretty traumatic. You should drive out and see me soon- make the long trek out to north oracle. Might have something you'd be interested in
chad

so sorry. :(rebecca

dale. i cannot say how much canyon ranch sucks now. the weekends are gonna be soooo horrible without you. dude, im bummed kyle

I heard, I was there today to pick up my things. You know how quickly word gets around. I am sorry for you too, hope you find something better, if you open your own coffecake shop let me know, I will be there. danielle

Man I'm sorry to hear that I see my day coming soon. seann

I'm sorry my friend. Its hard. deanna

Sorry Dale...hope you are okay..... india gary

Sorry Dale, I been there man. Know that when God closes one door, he always opens another! will wells

Sorry to hear that bra.... eric jones

Sorry to hear that man. I know you said you were concerned due to the high end nature of your business. You will definitely bounce back and find something soon. brad fryman

Geez...heartless...maybe you'll get that call from the white house...you'll show them. felicia

WOAH... How are you?? What happened? jodie

Fuck Miguel I am so sorry Man, shit. I wish you the best, are you going to stay in Tucson ? Lets keep in touch Miguel , take care. rafa

Fuck , for sure. I could not believe it when I heard. I can picture Justin in my mind telling you the bad news. I know is hard but LIFE goes on, don’t let this shit throw you down on your career. rafa again

still

ok - - I have a few things going on - well not really - just one " event " this weekend.
I think it will be good for me to get out of my normal routine for now - which is sleep eat and dodge missles and icbm's. Oh since i had vacation hours paid out to me when i was laid off ( 80 ) and severance and my regular two week pay check - I am now not eligible for unemployment????
REALLY?

so - I don't really know what that means other than that I hope to be working soon
like secure something - soon but I really am not excited to work thanksgiving.


still this last week and a half - the strangest time of my life to date...

i just wake up in the morning and shake my head.

extra, extra

so apparently getting laid off and getting laid
are one in the same.....


who knew

vince carter

will it blend?

update

ok - i have not been writing inthis too much lately..... its strange this past week since i've been laid off - ( still not used to saying that ) has been the busiest and craziest - probably in my life or any of my longest memories - I wont go into too much detail - but after last night lets just say - I am a proponent of not hooking up with people who i dont actually have feelings for - or like.... \granted i did come very close.... but anyway - its second to the girl who wanted to hook up with me while she was pregnant so i could take care of the baby because the current father wanted nothing to do with it - but that's my side of the story - i could be way off base -

so i've been on one interview today at miraval - and i have one tomorrow -
i don't know what i want to do right now - the obvious choice and i'm doing it is to go on interviews - and fill out applications - but truthfully - part of me doesn't want to cook anymore - or for at least for the now and now -

i still don't believe that i'm unemployed - but i've been gone 7 days from the job
and its weird - but i'm learning more about myself i guess...

who knows

ok you tell ME what it is ...

i had an interesting night - watching a movie -
eating popcorns.....and i heard this line - " don't do it unless you have feelings for me." i am the one who usually says this - so it toook me by surprise - this movie i mean

so what do you do when the person who likes you likes you more than you like them.

run.... away..... fast......
be glad you don't own a rabbit -

free - sort of

so i made it on property and off of without incident - picking up final check -
serv safe certificate - which is important because it expires in 2012 - and i am free -
from the ranch - unemployment is interesting - i mean its sort of freeing - to an extent -
i am lucky to be cheap and had all of my vacation paid out to me. plus two weeks plus a week plus 28 hours - so like 5 1/2 weeks of pay
i didnt use any sick time in 2 1/2 years sans one day

anyway i am curious to what the future holds - where i will end up - what is going to happen when my lease is up at the end of june.

back to reality

ok i'm back in tucson - i took a few use days to hang out with my 2nd mom ( my mother and her sister are identical twins ) here in Green Valley -
but I'm back... I have a few things going on - i filed for unemployment - because its my right - or because we all pay into it - but seldom use it - believe me im looking for a job - im not lazy but i canuse the money right now
i have a " meeting " on friday - and a wedding to go to ( solo )
i pick up my final check tomorrow - but want to play it low key because if i make an appearance - i will cause the whole main kitchen to stop functioning - and i don't want to witness grown men crying again -

i am filling out applications - getting references together
my cell phone, and facebook bage have been inundated with well wishes - and oh shits
you never realize how many friends you have or how many people you affect - until either you die - or you get fired and or leave your job -

sweat suits - no t shirts

unemployed

so i have been hit - broadside with being laid-off from my current position
as sous chef at canyon ranch - this is the first time i have been unemployed
in maybe 8 years - and that was a period of a few weeks in between jobs -
i had a job lined up but chose to take some me time.

now i am unsure about my future but not scared at all - it was time for me to leave
but this time i didn't get to say when

change....

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. " Charles Darwin.

i watched history take place last night

i am still pretty much speechless - not only did Obama win but pretty much a landslide
the last count i had before I went to sleep was 338 for O and 155 for Mc. The best part was the phone calls to ( and from ) my friends and family last night. especially the parents - and my aunt - its their generation that thought seeing a black family in the white house would never happen in their lifetime, i told her our generation was a bit more optimistic - if only a little -
i think that is enough for now - i am too excited to really say whats on my mind because - it would be just a jumble of words and such.

oh but there's always this:

yes we can.

mao, lenin, stalin, web cams

i dont owe anybody anything ( monitarily, or otherwise )
so i am not a practicing capitolist
i seek wisdom in other areas - reading my well worn
copy of the communist manifesto - as i watch this female on webcam
who is using a fake name and was once on a reality show -
its purely superficial - we know that the other may or may not exist
in any other form other than a shitty web image - at times i am chosen to be moderator
to the room - a sort of dictator ship of sorts
ultimate power and i get to sit down when i do it
i take it seriously - like mao - or stalin -

i take socialism very seriously - i dont know how it turned from marxism, to socialism, to communism
but im guessing that all things evolve
communism on paper makes sense
like a two dollar bill
but after a while the novelty wears off and its face
value is only half.... but the soup and bread are good

i have already voted -
it is my right - if only i believed that who ever wins
wil make an impact - other than enraging the losing party into
riots and mervyn's style looting
i always want irregular sheets - at a discount

i guess that this is mostly true - but mostly made up

for james

delay -

sorry its been a few days since i've written - sort of blocked
sort of exhausted and topics like why does the remote control always come up missing - is not helping me with any efforts - of writing.

THE phonecall...

God called me at work yesterday, He apologized for everything.

Happy Halloween & Dia de los Muertos

old school video of the day.

Random Friend's Advice

this dude - who i used to look up to told me once
and i quote " Never date a girl who has a Lane Bryant credit card."

i don't even know what that means anymore.

and this is for Tony " Let that shit wrap around you and throw your head back. "

art

this is work in progress.

Charles meets Barack

Links

please if you have time - click the links on the right hand side and visit some of my favorites - and tell them I sent you.

Thanks

I have been noticing the interest level in my little blog increasing day by day -
Thank you for reading - I hope that i give you the readers a little insight - outside of your usual box. I hope that we will continue being a blogger ( me ) and a reader ( us )

if there ever was a culinary god... this is he

escoffier - for those who know not

trust me with this one.

oblivous

i am -pretty oblivious to my surroundings sometimes -
esp if it is not in or around a kitchen -
get me out in the public and i lose it - totally
but not really -

I know a few people and are amazed when people call me by my name
( its written on my jacket with threads - i know the word but can't spell it
at the moment ) -

i guess that sometimes i dont call people by their name - i know it but i am usually
on to other things -
you'd think that id be more aware - but i'm not
so if i just say whats up - i do know your name - mostly
but im all about efficiency -
and some days the less words the better

look closely and you too will see them

i see these all the time but don't
pay attention to them.
i think that will change soon.
( i'll take the big one. )

facebook

i've re-connected with a lot of people from my past - some good - and a few life changing -
like the first person i ever was in love with - and the second one - who almost killed me - but time has passed - i've grown - a bit.
matured i guess -
actually i've grown a lot
figured out how i can be more to those i am closest to - and how to treat myself better - and put myself first.

Peach Orange Souflee Pancake

peach and orange souflee pancake

3 tablespoons butter
1 Cup sliced peaches
1 cup orange sections
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon butter
3 egg yolks
1/4 cup warm milk
1/4 cup warm water
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
3 egg whites, at room temperature

in a saute pan, melt the one tablespoon of butter - adding the brown sugar and cinnamon. put the peaches and orange segments in the butter mixture and cook until slightly carmelized set aside.

mix together the egg yolks, milk, and water. in a separate bowl mix together the sugar, salt, nutmeg and flour.

mix together the wet ingredients and dry ingredients.
beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form and fold the egg whites into the pancake mixture.

put the orange and peaches into a 10" oven safe par and put the batter over the peaches and oranges.

bake in a 425 degree oven for 15 minutes or until golden brown.

genius

I've been called a genius before - like once - but i am taking it out of context.
I made this dish in Sedona when I worked here. I t was a puffed peach pancake with maple butter and brown sugar sour cream, and I believe the quest commented that the dish was genius - not necessarily me - but i came up with it so does that make me a genius.

The " pancake " is not really a pancake per se - but more of a very light waffle -
the eggs are separated and the whites are beaten to stiff peaks and folded into the batter - and baked in a ceramic tart pan - imagine a ramekin but like 12" in diameter and 1" tall - the peaches were carmelized in brown sugar and put in the bottom of the pan and the batter is put on top = the rest is well pretty simple - of if i find the recipe ill post it. - but this was like 5 years ago.

anyway - i also won best breakfast in america - and oddly enough i've been gone two plus years and they are still using my recipes.

a note to myself

I just keep missing you - as I turn the corner you are walking away - just ahead of me in the check out line - 15 items or less - because both you and I only cook for ourselves - I used to run into you all the time at the gym - when we were working out 5 days a week - but i stopped almost completely = now i'm back to 3 to 4 times a week but you stopped going too - I miss you terribly - we had so much fun together - going out to play pool - out for drinks - or just out - now all I do is sit on craigslist waiting for your missed connection ad - did I mention that i've changed.... that the trip to costa rica is a go - the teaching job may go through as well - i know you were worried about me working too much but I swear only one more year and I'm done and we can go back to the good old days...
i promise

ryhme time sort of

how many times have you said
i wish you were more like fred
more like him - than you choose
to be more like you always lose
your soul - your soul is lost

changing lanes - changing speeds
changing directions - hearts bleed
when broken - when forcibly stitched
back together its no better
they work but strain under pressure, twitch
stall and fail
your soul is lost

post 101 a bit more personal

this is me......

i know its a self diagnosis but it fits me in every level - and those who know me on a personal level - when i had them read this they agreed 100%

100th post

so ok I feel like shit - nauseous - warm - my body is sore - stomach bubbly
i just gotta make it through 2 more days - and im off - for two days
i learned a word in hindi today = its pronounced " thumby" not sure what means - \
oh did i mention i had a headache also - i think its mostly my body reacting to another change in schedule -

that's about the size of it....

( quit being cheap - freedom ain't free )

chaos

winter - snow
fall - hands across america
summer - fried green tomatoes and bacon grease
spring - tulips a single maple leaf - trouble
trouble always comes in spring
with the corvus - dropping walnuts
so cars can do the dirty work

lemon essence is really lemon juice
my soul - is lemonade -
my heart you'd think would be the sugar
but its the ice mainly and mostly lemon essence

when i think about it
by this time tomorrow
will have more time
to think whether im crazy of just different
but only time will tell

either answer - will suit me

i followed the sun once - until it set
and then i followed the moon until it set
i never left - that same path that night

chaos - is the path mainly traveled
by those who are different - crazy
looking for answers -
i saw a crow once -
in a tree -
doing nothing - and i envied him
until he flew off -

bingo

i figured it out - well with the help of some people - at work
that I will host a bingo game and whoever wins i will go out with
seriously - there seems to be someone else at work that likes me - or it is a rumor
or it could be bullshit

but i do like the idea of relationship bingo -

i am developing rules to the game now.
instead of bingo the winning word will be the respective players name such as dale
and they would have to yell out my name - ( i personally enjoy anyone yelling out my name) - when they feel fit that they have won

and the other rules.... well - there are not many rules to bingo
in the first place.

I met someone who knows you

i always cringe when someone starts a conversation with this statement. Because
ive met a lot of people over the years and usually i am quite - lets say less than pc when i speak - so its always a teat - treat - when you meet someone i know

you probably already have

so i thought about it when i worked at the Lodge at Sedona for the three plus years - i had the opportunity to meet 30 people a day 5 days a week for 150 weeks - which equals

around this many people

not that i've actually met 20,000 people in a three year period but it could easily be half - or if this makes more sense 10,000 people have met me - and probably 15,000 people have eaten my food - again that number may be on the small side

anyway -

so i always cringe when people say i met someone who knows you.

oh it also helps to be named Dale - because most of the time i am the only Dale you know.....

DSL

Insomnia, scare tactics, and feet fetishes

You would think that after 35 years of going to sleep and waking up, that by now i would
actually remember that the place i went to sleep in and the place i wake up are the same.
...you would think.

but the majority of the time i forget - which i think is a defense mechanism of some sorts - but probably not.

ok ill admit it - i'm scared
really scared - and confused - and reluctant to admit failure
etc - just like everyone else - but i am coming to terms with everything
quickly - the past two years or two years and 3 months have been challenging to say the least - with the " you're not supposed to date ppl you work with rule " which i broke
two years ago today. and its been all downhill since - more like a long fall into an abyss - if i hit bottom at least i know there is an up and out - but this is just falling - i at times reach out to grab onto anything but all i get is air -

i am tired, scared - confused and reluctant to admit that most of my " relationship" issues are my fault - i just figured out tonight that this is the first time in my life that i am in control of my love life - in control because i know that people like me and i get to pick and choose instead of the last 20 years of hit and miss dating -
its boiled down to two things
one - i am really making up for lost time
and two - i am making up for lost time by being a player - because it was i who always got played - they both work for me

i enjoy it all

i work too much - or let me rephrase i work too much at my current place of employment
dont get me wrong im used to working a lot - but this is different
im not used to being pulled in so many directions
there are times at work i cant leave - or i want to leave but i keep getting asked questions or something else -

i dont really have a foot fetish - but its the words that bring you in.

some days i feel like running away - to somewhere very quiet - and cool and un-civilized - but i cant or i just cant

some days - i sit and wait for the alarm to ring so i can hit the snooze button

tonite i am wondering with all the ppl in the f&b department at work being let go
will i be next - i think i survived the first round of cuts but come new year - i may be s.o.l. - but ill get to sleep....

Stunt Dates

ok I figured out what this term is - I need a " date " for a wedding in November, and I asked a few people so far - one who will flake out so that doesn't count and the other two live in california - - one is an actress, and the other once picked a hunk of meat out of my teeth - the first time i met her...

I can ask one more but she too lives in california - and you ask - why dale, do you not live in california....

trust me my luck with women if you can call it that - is really hit or miss - or i miss on purpose - who knows - i am aware of a few - but they shall remain nameless

my friend suzanne called me a player - unsure if i fit that catergory - i have a lot of female friends and try to keep in contact with them - that's all -

and 95% of them are or would be considered tens.... or 9's - like i said i've always been lucky and cooking helps trust me....

so i have a stunt date for any and all future events - we get along - well - not sure why we never hooked up - oh wait i know - im just a friend -

so yeah - i have stunt dates
and for now ill take it

pie

i like pie.... I'm guessing that's a pretty standard
answer to the question - pie or cake...

wait i like cake too

wait - i can like both -
i make cakes more so than pies.... I used to be a pastry assistant
here back in he late 90's - so i had me share of cake baking brulee'ing
cookie making and pies - it was the first time i made them in abundance - meaning more than one and we used pre made pie dough ( gasp !) mainly because of consistency
because pie dough can be a bitch to make - its very temperamental -

but i also learned the trick of using two pre made pie shells for the top and bottom of pies... and frozen apples - but i digress - -


so i like pie -
apple yes - blueberry not so much
key lime and pecan - yes - coconut creme nope
pumpkin sort of but i prefer sweet potato pie - and on that subject
i prefer my corn bread sweet

i have several recipes for pie dough - floating around somewhere
but i still to this day remember the recipe from culinary school for basic french pie/tart dough
called pate brisee

8oz flour
4oz butter
salt and ice water -

i don't recall any measurements for the salt and water
im sure a 1/2 teaspoon of salt will do
and water to make it form a ball but not too wet

oh and it should be made in a food processor -

and one more tip/trick - I learned this from one of the former
pastry assistants at the White House
when making pecan pie - as soon as you take it out of the oven
pour about 1/4 cup of myers dark rum on top of the still hot pie
it will soak in and its pretty damn good..
enjoy

exhaustion and decompression

so for pretty much the last month - ok the last three weeks - i've been working
6 days a week - or so - but mainly just working and sleeping - and that one or two days off a week i do get i just collapse into nothingness - but soon - probably next monday
or so i will get some sort of relief - and i may actually get out of the house
- to tell you just how exhausted i am - i almost fell asleep on the way home from work -
and that is a 5 mile drive

tuesday - this one coming up is our first " decompression " dinner - really good food - good wine and some well needed down time - me and two others from work are going -

its like a brain storming and talking shit evening - and hopefully after that i will get some sort of motivation back and start working out again etc.....

i have not been this tired in years

wiki how to hold hands

i didn't know that people actually
didn't know how to hold hands

so this is for you

1. Visualize how it will feel. If you are nervous, think of how good it will feel if the other person holds back.
2. Take a hold of the other person's hand. While sitting, standing or walking next to that person, grasp his or her hand and lightly squeeze.
3. Wait for a return squeeze. If they squeeze back, most times, they enjoy your company and don't mind you holding their hand.
4. Use a hand-holding method. There are two approaches to hold another person's hand.
* You can either just grasp their hand and hold it (easy to achieve, but harder to stay held on longer); or
* Interlock fingers, which sometimes takes some work, but because the other person is holding on too, you can stay holding hands longer. Most times, it's better if you just start off with doing the first example until you are sure that the other person is okay with holding hands and will hold on.
5. If you're absolutely sure that the person you held hands with is enjoying your company, look at him or her straight in the eyes and smile subtly.

my previous life - will become my future

I always wanted to be a professional photographer
and be able to take pictures like these.....

but since i don't have unlimited time - i'll stick to cooking, painting
and writing blogs.

more food

this is by special request.......
my friend Kelly wanted to see more food
on here - so here goes.....

Just in time for the autumn season

Ginger Bread Pancakes

mix dry ingredients:

1 1/3 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon cinnamon

mix wet ingredients:
1 egg
1 1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup molasses
3 tablespoons canola oil


mix wet ingredients into dry ingredients

i am assuming that you actually know how to make pancakes - if not i can't help you

Eat Less Meat

The UN's Food and Agriculture Organisation has estimated that meat production accounts for nearly a fifth of global greenhouse gas emissions. These are generated during the production of animal feeds, for example, while ruminants, particularly cows, emit methane, which is 23 times more effective as a global warming agent than carbon dioxide. The agency has also warned that meat consumption is set to double by the middle of the century.

'In terms of immediacy of action and the feasibility of bringing about reductions in a short period of time, it clearly is the most attractive opportunity,' said Pachauri. 'Give up meat for one day [a week] initially, and decrease it from there,' said the Indian economist, who is a vegetarian.

suprise, suprise....

If you're doing a large, complicated character with radio controls, it might take a number of people several months to make it and if you're talking about a quick little hand puppet, it could be made in 2 days, so there's enormous range there, and no real easy generalities.

Jim Henson

or.....

You know who the fuck I am, so get off that old bullshit.

Reggie Noble, aka Redman


both are fitting captions for this picture

post secret

not my secret but it may as well be.....

civil liberties

idiazabal - is one of my civil liberties
putting money under my mattress
drinking wine in prescott - with people i just met
in a wine room at 61 degrees -

i know - freedom of speech, freedom of religion are true liberties -
but others like - tripping the light fantastic -
eating smores next to a roaring ember filled fire - sending lights up
into a pitch black sky - are civil liberties or should be

i think i (we) need to rethink what we should be doing and what our government
allows us to do - nothing anarchist in thought - but simply finding happiness again -

because our world is getting a bit tighter - a bit more askew -
our tomorrows are all of a sudden on the top of all of our priority lists

i know now that working for the next 30 years may end up being - the next 35-38 years - and i intend to be happy - -

so my civil liberties have changed a bit -
for the better...........

i feel i should be ....

i sometimes feel that I should be saying
something here - like everyday - but i can not force the issue
which is exactly what im doing right now -
a very random thought - maybe i should go into antiques......

THE cookie

i have been making this certain cookie for three years or so -
( They are Francine's favorite )
and not very often - I call it an adult cookie
because its sort of sophisticated on the palate

i think of all the times i've made it - only once was the original
recipe - it is a interesting cookie
it is a spicy chocolate coffee cookie

it has cinnamon, cayenne and black pepper - bitter sweet chocolate chips and roughly chopped coffee beans - that is the original recipe

the last time i made them i substituted chipotle chili powder and semi sweet chocolate chips -


the next time which may be friday i want to switch out the chipotle powder
with aleppo pepper - my new favorite ingredient - its a crushed pepper from Syria

so not that the recipe is guarded but it is -
its my only truly " signature " recipe
that i make once a year .

take five

i am taking 5 for myself - - minutes probably -
its all i get anymore.....i've found out lately that im very felixble - or flexible - to the point of dis-location but not separation

so i corner well - and if bumped - i can right myself usually
and step back into my 5/4 lifestyle

fly....??

it turns out i can't fly after all - not that I actually tried -
but i sometimes close my eyes and spread my arms in the wind - waiting
for an inch of flight off of the ground - but it never happens and i open my eyes and i'm at work - still being called el diablo by gerardo......

if i knew what to do about this - i'd sell everything and travel the world

wait.......

interesting seeing how this is 2008

ok you tell ME what it is ...

wisdom comes from many places - since i have not been many places
lately - just work and home

i got it from work.....

" You help everyone else, but who helps you? " Kevin M.

i didn't have a legit answer

just because i am capable of working almost everywhere in the kitchens at work
doesn't mean i should have to