it seems that i am not sleeping again - figure its a good time to write
or think - i don't know what im doing - other than i have a time line until the 13/14th of december - and after that im headed east or so ( which is ok - but not REALLY ) my decision - but something
everyone i talk to has or wants to have some sort of input on my future - not to say that is bad - but it would help if i knew what i wanted - still 50-65% of me wants to drop the knives all together - and stop cooking for a while - but the other 45% needs me to stay put until the end of june -
oh i kind of want to be around water really soon - was thinking about driving to los angeles for turkey day - but i'd have to cook
and i ......
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