happy - oh not so

i think i should be happier than i am right now
but i'm not
no real reason - or maybe a lot of reasons
or a few - that make me think that this life
im watching from the outside - at times
is bad - or worser than i think it is

but its all a dream - and i wake up
every 30 minutes

realizes that another item on his list of must haves - has switched to the list of not gonna happen - and i'm getting used to it - i guess this is progress?

bbq crew

sounds like r kelley

bbq crew

extra, extra

pregnancy tests are now digital - personally i'm gonna wait until the HD ones come out....

dealing with good bye

i am dealing with saying goodbye
slowly -

saying good bye to tucson and america -
slowly saying goodbye to cooking - 60% of me wants to throw in the towel

my ultimate goal is to drop out of society for a while to take assessment

of my life thus far - 35 years in is about the half way mark for the men in my family
i want to see if i lived correctly - accomplished what i wanted
made amends when necessary
so that the second haalf of my life will be more structured

more meaningful - more spiritual

meh...

8 days off

i have had soem interesting internet issues the past week
but all are solved so i can at least start thinking about writingin this again

so my luck here in tucson has been iffy - some weeks good - some not
i met two rather important people - well more than two but
two heart placers

aand it turns out with my luck i have been able to pick ppl to get involved with
who after a few months or weeks decide - to leave and we'll never see each other again

the first one nearly wrecked me -
( rectum..? it damn near killed him )
but at least she is talking to me again
the other - is leaving on friday to go back to the philipines

from the jump we both decided that this was not a relationship
just having fun - but im not really ready to say goodbye forever
we were supposed to see each other tonight but its 11.30 and that seems distant
and tomorrow she's booked solid -

and friday im back at work....

but

thought of the day

Its a long day living in reseda
There's a freeway runnin through the yard
And Im a bad boy cause I dont even miss her
Im a bad boy for breakin her heart

And Im free, free fallin
Yeah Im free, free fallin

a whole day wasted

a note to myself

maybe tonight i'll have that dream again - you know the one where i was really happy........

food quiz

quiz

what do you eat when it rains?

what did your mom/ dad make for you when you were sick?

what was your favorite lunch when you were in 5th grade? 12 grade?

what is your favorite combination of flavors ( i.e. peanut butter and chocolate, )
favorite combination of seasonings, sweet hot, salty sweet, sweet spicy, bitter

if you could have anything for dinner what would it be?

what food do you hate?

pretzels, or chips with a turkey sandwich?

pepsi or coke?

are you tired of eating salmon yet?

rare, medium or well done ( meat)

raw medium or well ( fish)

chef tip.....

when you are cooking vegetables - or blanching -
such as green beans, the water you use must be salty
it should taste like the ocean......

blanching - cook quickly and cool quickly- in ice water.......