dealing with good bye

i am dealing with saying goodbye
slowly -

saying good bye to tucson and america -
slowly saying goodbye to cooking - 60% of me wants to throw in the towel

my ultimate goal is to drop out of society for a while to take assessment

of my life thus far - 35 years in is about the half way mark for the men in my family
i want to see if i lived correctly - accomplished what i wanted
made amends when necessary
so that the second haalf of my life will be more structured

more meaningful - more spiritual

meh...