i am confused.... being brought up catholic
but at the age 26 finding zen buddhism
half of me wants to believe that there is a god - so that this life when it ends
will have some sort of meaning
the other half believes that there is such a thing of reincarnation
but after recent events -
i believe that this is it - there is no coming back - there is no afterlife
so as much as i fuck up in this life - and i have
there is no reward - or restitution
i just cant or dont want to think that when i die -
thats it
but .....
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