newest - latest

done and done

notice put in at work - and 30 day intent to vacate put in at the apt

but lately i keep staying awake waiting for something to happen
but nothin's a doin

weeks going by fast....

i have the next two days to give my notice at the job
and give some sort of 30 day notice to end my lease at my current apartment
i really don't realize how much shit i have to do to tie up loose ends and break out
and wreck shop - as of this weekend it's a month - so not too much time left
but enough time to ask myself what the fuck are you doing?

not too worried bout the 30 day notice at my apt - but kind of worried
about the job...

funky funk

i have been realizing the funk ive been in since nov of o8? since i was laid off
well my funk and in a rut are other's depressions - it is a heavy burden sometimes
even getting out of bed some days - i think i thought i was doing well until last may when one of my close friends passed away - then two more over the next 3 months - and i was back in the stew again - i am trying to dig myself out
hopefully the move helps since i am betting everything on it right now
but who knows... i know that my current surroundings are not beneificial to my mental and physical health.... it has taken me a long time to write this down
and write it to be read...... i know that help is available and i have good friends to lean on but my burdens/crosses are for me to bear right?

who knows.

words

i have/ had? a love affair with words - which sprang from those early formidable years with my dad - he was old school - like he remembers when movies were strictly in black and white... but that was then. - anyway my father is smart - in an eccentric way. i'd catch him reciting poems he learned in grade school ( in latin! ) he didn't finish high school and went straight to college so you may think that this genius was was lost with me

not so

i always tell people, just because i cook does not mean i am unintelligent

where am i?

oh words.

me and my dad would red the dictionary often - looking for derivations of words and where they came from latin, greek etc and to this day i read the dictionary to learn more about words

and one of my biggest pet peeves is people using words wrong or the wrong words
i choose them carefully in my speech and my writing
and if you ever catch me using the wrong word - trust me its on purpose.

camera.....

got a new camera - been itching to use it... but busy all week and it's been cloudy - which lends itself to amazing sunsets... hopefully over the weekend i'll get some good pics to document the beginning of the end of my living in tucson.... 6 weeks or less

since 1994 , when i began this journey of becoming a chef - i have totally been neglectful & oblivious to the world outside of the kitchen

stuff

there is s lot going on with me right now - ending one chapter in a 10 year really discombobulated story - and waiting to start another story - waiting because i need time in between these short stories. - but that is not going to happen....
or at least it's not really happening..
after i leave arizona i'm headed to california to see friends and family
then doubling back and trying to be in dallas for a basketball game -
then back home to my old room to decompress for at least a week before everyone starts pulling me in a lot of directions again - which is fine - this time at least i can decide who pulls and where im getting pulled.