is anybody out there?

I am writing again.... It feels good - since I really don't have anyone to talk to about this... ( I do, but choose to let whomever stumbles on this blog, to read it) I am still using blogger.com because I can rest easy that since it's not tumblr or wordpress - I know that not a lot of people are cruising this site. 6 years ago or even 7 i had a lot of readership, and I was almost forced to write in it everyday. mainly writing what I wanted people to believe about me - make myself sort of more than what I am. Now I am using it as an online journal..... writing the stuff thats in my head so I can sleep or get through the day - I made a rule years ago after a few too many incidents - that I was only able to have my freak-outs at home - now I have a new rule since technology has advanced I can no longer text ppl what I am really thinking at anytime - or at least wait 10 minutes to calm down and then respond..... ( she told me that she might have to go to north carolina - but I still had a minor freak out - because that was two cancelled dates in one week) she has not lied to me,( recently) but I am always over thinking things.