Happy Thanksgiving.

I hope your holiday is good - I won't be posting again until monday
so enjoy the weekend.

shit you find on youtube at 2am

i don't know what to say....

no sleep for the wicked

it seems that i am not sleeping again - figure its a good time to write
or think - i don't know what im doing - other than i have a time line until the 13/14th of december - and after that im headed east or so ( which is ok - but not REALLY ) my decision - but something

everyone i talk to has or wants to have some sort of input on my future - not to say that is bad - but it would help if i knew what i wanted - still 50-65% of me wants to drop the knives all together - and stop cooking for a while - but the other 45% needs me to stay put until the end of june -

oh i kind of want to be around water really soon - was thinking about driving to los angeles for turkey day - but i'd have to cook

and i ......

James

the grower of sorts
grapefruit
mid town tucson
fresh off of the tree
and some stamps
and my hand

if this is not eating " local " i don't know what is

classic

time's a changing

i have a two week or so time frame - to see whether or not anything is happening
here in tucson - then its possibly back home for the holidays
interesting is that this is the first time we - the family will be in the same place
for christmas since hmm i can't even remember at least before culinary school
so 1992-3 - not sure

Double Check Ranch

this is the menu at the slow food dinner at Double Check Ranch

Appetizers

Beef Carpaccio
sea of cortez salt, water cress, dragoon oils

Prickly Pear Iced Tea
maya tea company

Roasted Bone Marrow w/ country bread and water crackers
double check ranch

Grilled Hanging Tender
double check ranch

Main Course

Butternut Squash & Pink Lady Soup
la oesta gardens & english orchards

Oxtail Stew
double check beef, burnt orange gourmet foods

Beef Polpette and Homemade Pasta
double check beef, tohono o'odham duram wheat and mesquite flour

danish rolls
mona's bakery

Farmer's Market Fresh Vegetables

El Norte, " Red ", R/R Wines
dos cabezas wineworks - sonoita

Prickly Pear Lemonade
cold creek ranch

Dessert
Danish Kringles
mona's bakery

Fresh Roasted Coffee
adventure coffee roasters

the password is crazy...

......

predicting the future

I wrote this about a month before i was laid off - fired


tonite i am wondering with all the ppl in the f&b department at work being let go
will i be next - i think i survived the first round of cuts but come new year - i may be s.o.l. - but ill get to sleep....

one of my many catch phrases

past

a lot of people are re-introducing themselves to me - from my not too distant past -
with " advice " i still don't know what im doing -
ill need to decide to make a decision by sunday -
something's gotta give -

does anyone have $1100 i can borrow?

i know of about 4 people who read this blog on a consistent basis.
but that doesn't equal the 25-60 views this page gets daily

my fellow readers that i know of
Tony B.
James H.
Nicci. B
Brian Mc.

show yourselves -

bad day

ok today was a bad one - i woke up and just shouted out randomly
to anyone who could hear - " are you fucking serious? "
a question that sums up everyday since 11/07/08
everything that has happened - good, bad or other -

ive not gotten many bites from my efforts -
oh one " apparently jim the baker from told someone that I was great "
i guess that's good - people are looking out for me
while i deal with this - i decided yesterday to not go to the rita ranch party - because i was not ready to see everyone from the old job at once - i almost feel like i failed - because everyone was so upset and emotional with the decision of someone who doesn't even know who i am or what my value was in the kitchen - decides to just let me go

i feel like i failed because it was out of my control - its like i got fired - but
i don't know.... i know the weekend seems like it will be busy
and monday its off to the grind again -

i hope this is all worth it - i may never know why this happened
or i could find out tomorrow - or i already know

or this will all just cycle out and spin in on itself like a black hole
and consume me from the inside out

im ready for any of it - really because i have no choice

seriously?

I hop no-one finds out about what I write in my blog....



AP
Rapper gets 20 years after writing shooting song


DUBLIN, Ga. – He shot a man twice and felt so good about it, police said, a rapper wrote a song describing the shooting and calling out the victim by name. A judge sentenced 25-year-old Rico Todriquez Wright Monday to spend the next 20 years in prison after his victim mentioned the hip hop confession to police.

Chad Blue, 28, told police he had known Wright before the September 2006 shooting, but that the men weren't friendly. He testified companions egged Wright on as he chased and shot his victim in the thigh and groin.

Later, Blue told police he recognized Wright's voice on a CD, rapping "Chad Blue knows how I shoot."

Wright was sentenced to 20 years for two counts of aggravated assault. He will spend another 20 years on probation.

think different

Here’s to the crazy ones.

The misfits.

The rebels.

The troublemakers.

The round pegs in the square holes.

The ones who see things differently.


They’re not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo.


You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,

disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.

Because they change things.



They invent. They imagine. They heal.

They explore. They create. They inspire.

They push the human race forward.


Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.



While some see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.

christmas list

clarity
security
a puppy
redemption

coffee
tea
you
mr. wilson

me being me again
a lot of rest
to figure out my career path
a puppy - a pony - a monkey with a hat


seriously
to see my family
to not be unemployed
or gainfully looking
money to travel

i did get my wish though
i got to relive that saturday night back in 1991
before thanksgiving again

and this time it was actually nice but not as safe

i am over thinking this - i usually do

our gang

why does buckwheat NOT have a shirt on???

....

since we are on the subject of fish....

my all time favorite fish is called Kona Kampachi, from
Kona Blue out of Hawaii - I've had the chance to work with it
24 hours out of the water, best served still rare to medium rare.

salmon

i like to cook salmon with the skin on.....
( any salmon from Kanaloa will suffice - or Opakapaka from Honolulu Fish Company )
hot pan - olive oil - spanish and organic
salt
pepper

the usual

but here is where it gets interesting
85% of the cooking is done skin side down -
to ensure crispy skin
and when it is almost done
flip the salmon just to sear the top

the salmon will be plated crispy skin side up
and the texture of the salmon will go from
well done to almost raw in the same bite

today

today is the first annual brush your dog's teeth with your own tooth brush day.

which one is you

everyone can relate to this picture - right now i'm the lion in this picture.

well wishes

notes to me on hearing about my lay off
about 1/3 of them ( not including phone calls, texts and e-mails)
( sometimes i go by miguel )


hey man,

I know im really late, but i just heard you were laid off at the ranch. that is such bull shit. im really sorry to hear that. I hope you are taking it well and find another job soon. damn man... fuck that place, they dont know what they are losing. seriously. ugh... that is so aggervating. well take care man. chat with you soon.

Alex aka kingman's king.
(not really) haha

Hey hey!

I heard. Kinda sucks, but I always thought you could do better. Your culinary talents are to good for a place like the ranch. Anything on the horizon?

Mike

What the fuck? You were the best chef they had dude
Did they fire a bunch of others? sebrina

helow dale im sory about lay off... whats the reason... ian

Hey I heard the bad news. Want to catch a drink tonight (or this weekend)?
James

Hi Bro, I'm really sorry about ur lay off and also I dont undertand why, but wellcome to the Club we are goint to bee soon in home. Like me mather say allways the things happen because something better is goint to appear in the future.
well men if u wanna travel to Peru the doors of my house are open for u my Telefone number is 5114672066 sometime... cesar

Sory to hear about that. It's their loss brother! Keep your head up. This will just open up something better for you. Ill keep you in my prayers. johnny evans

Noo Man, I heard about it and it sucks. I´m really sorry man...Remember whenever you want to go Lima... just let me know Miguel...Take man guillermo

You are the best dale... I hope we'll see you again... rodolfo

Sorry for what happen man, best of luck! frenendo

Sorry to hear about that... Pretty traumatic. You should drive out and see me soon- make the long trek out to north oracle. Might have something you'd be interested in
chad

so sorry. :(rebecca

dale. i cannot say how much canyon ranch sucks now. the weekends are gonna be soooo horrible without you. dude, im bummed kyle

I heard, I was there today to pick up my things. You know how quickly word gets around. I am sorry for you too, hope you find something better, if you open your own coffecake shop let me know, I will be there. danielle

Man I'm sorry to hear that I see my day coming soon. seann

I'm sorry my friend. Its hard. deanna

Sorry Dale...hope you are okay..... india gary

Sorry Dale, I been there man. Know that when God closes one door, he always opens another! will wells

Sorry to hear that bra.... eric jones

Sorry to hear that man. I know you said you were concerned due to the high end nature of your business. You will definitely bounce back and find something soon. brad fryman

Geez...heartless...maybe you'll get that call from the white house...you'll show them. felicia

WOAH... How are you?? What happened? jodie

Fuck Miguel I am so sorry Man, shit. I wish you the best, are you going to stay in Tucson ? Lets keep in touch Miguel , take care. rafa

Fuck , for sure. I could not believe it when I heard. I can picture Justin in my mind telling you the bad news. I know is hard but LIFE goes on, don’t let this shit throw you down on your career. rafa again

still

ok - - I have a few things going on - well not really - just one " event " this weekend.
I think it will be good for me to get out of my normal routine for now - which is sleep eat and dodge missles and icbm's. Oh since i had vacation hours paid out to me when i was laid off ( 80 ) and severance and my regular two week pay check - I am now not eligible for unemployment????
REALLY?

so - I don't really know what that means other than that I hope to be working soon
like secure something - soon but I really am not excited to work thanksgiving.


still this last week and a half - the strangest time of my life to date...

i just wake up in the morning and shake my head.

extra, extra

so apparently getting laid off and getting laid
are one in the same.....


who knew

vince carter

will it blend?

update

ok - i have not been writing inthis too much lately..... its strange this past week since i've been laid off - ( still not used to saying that ) has been the busiest and craziest - probably in my life or any of my longest memories - I wont go into too much detail - but after last night lets just say - I am a proponent of not hooking up with people who i dont actually have feelings for - or like.... \granted i did come very close.... but anyway - its second to the girl who wanted to hook up with me while she was pregnant so i could take care of the baby because the current father wanted nothing to do with it - but that's my side of the story - i could be way off base -

so i've been on one interview today at miraval - and i have one tomorrow -
i don't know what i want to do right now - the obvious choice and i'm doing it is to go on interviews - and fill out applications - but truthfully - part of me doesn't want to cook anymore - or for at least for the now and now -

i still don't believe that i'm unemployed - but i've been gone 7 days from the job
and its weird - but i'm learning more about myself i guess...

who knows

ok you tell ME what it is ...

i had an interesting night - watching a movie -
eating popcorns.....and i heard this line - " don't do it unless you have feelings for me." i am the one who usually says this - so it toook me by surprise - this movie i mean

so what do you do when the person who likes you likes you more than you like them.

run.... away..... fast......
be glad you don't own a rabbit -

free - sort of

so i made it on property and off of without incident - picking up final check -
serv safe certificate - which is important because it expires in 2012 - and i am free -
from the ranch - unemployment is interesting - i mean its sort of freeing - to an extent -
i am lucky to be cheap and had all of my vacation paid out to me. plus two weeks plus a week plus 28 hours - so like 5 1/2 weeks of pay
i didnt use any sick time in 2 1/2 years sans one day

anyway i am curious to what the future holds - where i will end up - what is going to happen when my lease is up at the end of june.

back to reality

ok i'm back in tucson - i took a few use days to hang out with my 2nd mom ( my mother and her sister are identical twins ) here in Green Valley -
but I'm back... I have a few things going on - i filed for unemployment - because its my right - or because we all pay into it - but seldom use it - believe me im looking for a job - im not lazy but i canuse the money right now
i have a " meeting " on friday - and a wedding to go to ( solo )
i pick up my final check tomorrow - but want to play it low key because if i make an appearance - i will cause the whole main kitchen to stop functioning - and i don't want to witness grown men crying again -

i am filling out applications - getting references together
my cell phone, and facebook bage have been inundated with well wishes - and oh shits
you never realize how many friends you have or how many people you affect - until either you die - or you get fired and or leave your job -

sweat suits - no t shirts

unemployed

so i have been hit - broadside with being laid-off from my current position
as sous chef at canyon ranch - this is the first time i have been unemployed
in maybe 8 years - and that was a period of a few weeks in between jobs -
i had a job lined up but chose to take some me time.

now i am unsure about my future but not scared at all - it was time for me to leave
but this time i didn't get to say when

change....

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. " Charles Darwin.

i watched history take place last night

i am still pretty much speechless - not only did Obama win but pretty much a landslide
the last count i had before I went to sleep was 338 for O and 155 for Mc. The best part was the phone calls to ( and from ) my friends and family last night. especially the parents - and my aunt - its their generation that thought seeing a black family in the white house would never happen in their lifetime, i told her our generation was a bit more optimistic - if only a little -
i think that is enough for now - i am too excited to really say whats on my mind because - it would be just a jumble of words and such.

oh but there's always this:

yes we can.

mao, lenin, stalin, web cams

i dont owe anybody anything ( monitarily, or otherwise )
so i am not a practicing capitolist
i seek wisdom in other areas - reading my well worn
copy of the communist manifesto - as i watch this female on webcam
who is using a fake name and was once on a reality show -
its purely superficial - we know that the other may or may not exist
in any other form other than a shitty web image - at times i am chosen to be moderator
to the room - a sort of dictator ship of sorts
ultimate power and i get to sit down when i do it
i take it seriously - like mao - or stalin -

i take socialism very seriously - i dont know how it turned from marxism, to socialism, to communism
but im guessing that all things evolve
communism on paper makes sense
like a two dollar bill
but after a while the novelty wears off and its face
value is only half.... but the soup and bread are good

i have already voted -
it is my right - if only i believed that who ever wins
wil make an impact - other than enraging the losing party into
riots and mervyn's style looting
i always want irregular sheets - at a discount

i guess that this is mostly true - but mostly made up

for james

delay -

sorry its been a few days since i've written - sort of blocked
sort of exhausted and topics like why does the remote control always come up missing - is not helping me with any efforts - of writing.